Animal Town
I went to a place called Animal town on the 17 of June and there were just thousands of animals l mean billions of animals everywhere they were in the shops, in car’s, trucks, buses. There was a fading yellow bus and at the front of it it looked like it is smiling. There were three dirty brown markats with white chests standing by the bus, sitting inside of it at the front step was a grey and brown bear and it was just looking at me.There was a giraffe sticking its head out of the front window. There was a lion sitting on the roof that looked like a roof of about the lion was a yellow-brown ginger color. In front of the lion was a parrot it had a blue head an orange body and green back and tail squawking. In the front of the bus was a black and white zebra walking on a zebra crossing and staring at me.There was a really big gorilla its face was black and it was a really brown color and it was really hairy. It was sitting under a roof that said (County Court House). There in the distance was a grey and white fur on the side of its face it was a spy koala looking at us. I could hear an add going on T.V saying animal town there ain’t no place to except animal Town.
Hello evannah I am Dominic I thing you should ad more detail in your waiting I like how you said that There in the distance was a grey and white fur on the side of its face it was a spy koala looking at us. I could hear an add going on T.V saying animal town there ain’t no place to except animal Town.
ReplyDeleteand I like how you described the gorilla. 😊😊😀😀
yous sisterly Dominic
thank you for tell me your fellings of my writing
Deletekia ora Evannah, My name is Zana your writing is very descriptive and full of colorful amazing words. Next time I think you should have more variety of sentence starters. Overall keep up with the great work.
ReplyDeleteKia Ora Evannah, This is a really descriptive piece of writing above with good punctuation and brilliant decriptive language. Next time you should write it in third person, you know, how you write it as if you have been told about it, or have seen a picture and are simply trying to explain a picture to others.
ReplyDeleteBlog You Later
Sam
Hi Evannah. I like how you have used your imagination. Next time you could add in some more adjectives. I like doing art to.
ReplyDeleteHello Evannha I am Capri and I go to Ahipara school.I really liked your writing about Animal town.My feed forward is next time work on your grammar and puncheon.
ReplyDeleteokey thank you Capri I will really try and foces more on that
Deletehello my name is Christina, I go to Kokatahi kowhitirangi school and I think you writing is very cool! what you have added and the detail bye
ReplyDelete